Kyoya Is Weary
by mamamu-yan
Summary: And sick of trying. Tamaki x Kyoya fluff. Rated T for self-harm theme.


**okay: i'm overly tired, fresh out of ideas, a bad writer and warning! this sucks.**

**it's tough doing a suicide centric story based on a person who is hard enough to portray as it is, so they both may seem OOC. this is just...simple fluff between Kyoya and Tamaki and i also threw my own headcanons. I didn't proof read, whoopsie daisy, so i wont take those reviews seriously. if i get any that is, hardy har har. okay, whatevs. it's time for bed \m/**

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In the dead of the night, not a single sound was heard. The nocturnal creatures were silent and the dark hallways of the mansion were dull. Through the thick silence of the house a muffled cry echoed far, occasionally followed by weak whimpering creeping past the cracks of a wooden doorway leading to a bedroom the size of a commoner's house. A wind chime dangled by the open window that let in the crisp night breeze and play with it and played along with the soft sobs from the boy curled in a fetal position in the mess of blankets on his bed. The sadden boy was unaware of the graceful figure who slipped past his door and gazed over at his trembling form from under the thick duvets.

Her silk hair swayed as she gently sat on the edge of the bed, taking the tear stained youth in her strong arms. "Aw, my sweet Kyoya, honey...what's the matter?"

She brought a thumb up to the child's eyes and wiped the tears away as he twisted around in her embrace while he was comfortable, but too shy to speak up. He was still half asleep, the terrors of his dream which just ended seconds ago still haunted his troubled mind, and he couldn't shake the tight knot forming in his neck. "Nothing." He mumbled into her breast and hid his face into her silk robe, her hair draped over her shoulder and nearly blending in with his equally dark raven head. "Stupid dreams."

"Why, sweetheart..." The woman spoke and turned in her seat to gingerly picked up a pair of spectacles from the nightstand which stood beside to boy's bed. "Your glasses...one of the lenses are broken." Her eyes were lowered in disappointment but the child in her arms frowned and kept his face from the moonlight.

"They're stupid. I don't like them; why must I wear them?" He croaked and wrapped his weak arms around his mother's torso, to keep him and her secure to each other. "The children at school make fun of me."

The woman ran her delicate fingers over the crack in the right lens and tugged at her sun's shirt in order for him to sit up and look up at her. "Really? Well...I think they look rather dashing on you, Kyoya." She slipped them on his round face and examined his tearful eyes as she held his pale cheeks in her hands. "Don't listen to those children. They're only jealous of your true beauty, that's all. No need to pout and cry, sweetheart. Mommy's here..."

The broken glasses removed and his face and body once again pressed into his mother's comforting body warmth, the boy took in a shaky sigh of content.

"Mommy will always be here for her Kyoya."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The air was cold and stiff in the office, whereas anyone of authority would sit up straight and keep proper. Mr. Suou sat at his polished and well kept desk, hand folded and brows furrowed in a serious tone but eyes wavering with deep concern. He had sent a message a few minutes ago to a student and as he waited, he stared in sympathy at the distraught young man in front of him. Slender hands entangled in his raven hair and his eyeglasses just barely dangled off his pinkie by the temples. His weary eyes were buried in the palms of his cold hands as he sat in front of this figurehead of authority, face hidden, back bent forward and feeling broken. Kyoya was ashamed, anxious and very tired.

"You are aware that I will have to contact your father about this, Kyoya. This cannot be left untouched." Suou watched as the boy did not move a muscle.

"Yes, sir. I understand, sir." Kyoya hardly muttered under his breath.

He heard the click of the double doors a few feet away from him and felt the older man push back his seat and walk around him. There were voices somewhere, but Kyoya was too focused on the sound of his heart beat thundering in his ears.

"Tamaki. I ask this of you, not from a chairmen, but from your father...please, help him."

Suou left his office, leaving behind an equally heartbroken Tamaki embracing his friend.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He fell asleep comfortably and was feeling quite content but what felt like after just a five minute snooze, Tamaki was awoken by violent shaking of the mattress just a few inches away from him. He blinked, trying to get his vision to focus on the pitch black surroundings, and turned his head to the side to see the sharp silhouette of the young man, his back facing Tamaki as his shoulders trembled slightly, a soft whimper shook his chest every few seconds. The blonde man swallowed and scooted closer to his friend, peering down at him with his elbows prompting him up to take a better look. His poor friend was sleeping, with tears trailing down his face and gathering up past his eyelashes. The distressed expression Kyoya had etched on his face gave Tamaki enough courage and shake his friend out of his nightmare.

"Wake up, Kyoya...you're dreaming, it's okay...wake up!"

Kyoya's eyes shot open in a second with a sharp intake, startled by shaking. He remained still in his position on his side, eyes darting around the room until he finally relaxed his muscles, mostly, and closed his eyes to compose himself.

Tamaki stayed quiet until he leaned closer to his friend, examining his features. His forehead, along with some strands of hair, were damp. His eyebrows twitched slightly, and his breathing pattern was uneven. Askew on the bed were his eyeglasses that look like they must have been tossed off in his sleep. Tamaki forced a tiny and comforting smile even though Kyoya wouldn't see it. "Bad dream, huh? You okay?"

His only reply was an awkward sniffle from a stuffed nose and a shaky sigh. Seconds later, Kyoya managed to speak up. "None of your concern. Go back to sleep now, Tamaki." His voice sounded lifeless, and Tamaki's heart only ached more for the boy.

"Well now I'm wide awake." He took the opportunity to snuggle back down under the covers, his golden head resting back on the pillow as he gazed at the back of Kyoya's messy head. "Why don't you tell me about it, hm? Any maybe...explain why they found a flare gun in your bag."

He could easily see, even in the darkness, the muscles in Kyoya's back tense up, and the possibility of his face cringing was high, especially if his face was out of sight from Tamaki's eyes. He had only left his case down for a split second, and it was closed; or at least he thought it was. The weapon he had brought to school that day, stupidly, like he was going to commit the act there of all places, slipped out from the top as it laid on it's side, and one of his classmates saw it, screeched, and all eyes were on Kyoya. The class's top student. The smart one. The one less likely to think self harmful thoughts. Yet there he was, an embarrassing sight to be seen in, all destroyed and distressed in front of the chairmen. And now his son was the only person who he can face, but even him alone is tough enough.

"Kyo?" Tamaki mumbled from behind, startling Kyoya out of his loathing daydream. He had calmed down a bit, tears have ceased, but his nose remained stuffed and his hands, which were out stretched in front of him, were noticeably trembling.

He still did not answer the King, not because he was at a true loss of words, but it was too humiliating as it was. That tiny voice in his head said to keep his mouth shut but the need for help was greater. Kyoya was mentally beating himself up every minute he kept quiet, but...

It was Tamaki.

"Oh, Tamaki..." Kyoya breathed out and let his eyes rest. "...I'm so tired of myself."

It took Tamaki a few minutes to ponder on these words. In the end, he muttered back. "What do you mean by that?"

The innocent but persistence in that one sentence got Kyoya frustrated but the worst he could do was clutch the sheets.

"What do you think it means, idiot? I've grown weary of me...this life, this family...I despise myself so much." His voice broke to a whisper at that last word and he mentally cursed himself for that. His voice sounded so broken and sick in the first place from all the crying he did. He never really noticed that Tamaki didn't care about that.

"...And," Tamaki began cautiously, staring down Kyoya through the back of his head, "...why would you want to think this?" The haunting subject alone makes Tamaki squirm. The idea his closest friend, who was far too intellectual for his own good, would even come across it.

Again, Kyoya took his time to respond. He was more focused, however, on the patterns that were stitched into the blankets. "You're telling me you've never felt so useless before, Tamaki? You've-you've never wanted to simply, just...fall off the face of the earth and see if anyone gave a single glance your way or even noticed you left? For example, I don't know, your vain and self conceding father and selfish, filthy, over achieved brothers? Just, vanish? Disappear? And no one will give a shit?"

He had practically spat out that final word; his knuckles now turning white with how hard he was gripping the sheets without being tempted to shred them in half. His mother stitched him these sheets.

He then relaxed himself.

"How I miss my mother...I just want to be with her again." 'Rest in Peace, mother.'

There was silence.

"You really believe that, don't you?"

There, Kyoya felt a dip in the mattress as Tamaki re adjusted himself closer to his friend's side. Wrapping one arm around the shaking form, Tamaki rested his head on the same pillow as Kyoya's-he pressed his forehead against those black strands and took a cold hand in his warm one and began stroking.

"You know, if you leave, I'll be unhappy, Kyoya. And I think Haruhi will be too. And Honey-senpai, and Mori-senpai as well as Hikaru and Karou. Every single one of our clients will cry and mourn...the teachers will grieve over their best sudent ever. There will be one less Ootori boy in the family that will, believe it or not, leave a scar on the entire family, whether they know it's their fault for your death." Tamaki struggled with 'death', but tried to avoid any censored wording just to get his point across. "You'll never know. Maybe you'll be the one to discover something new in the business. You could create a new anti biotic or a cure for a disease that scientists everywhere have been searching for a remedy for years. You could be the most influential person in all of Japan, or who knows, the world if you create your own company or business. You could be the one unique one in the group who does his own thing, because that's what his heart desires. People will respect and admire you. Your family! Not only will your father be sorry he neglected you, and your brothers brought you down, but, but, you'll have a new family of your own! A new wife...and beautiful children. And they'll love you and you'll love them. You could be the father yours never was...you have the power to be yourself. Don't let the troubles today affect your future in a negative way...learn! Just live for today. Don't give up now..please, don't. Your...mother doesn't want to meet up with you quiet yet Kyoya...you have to continue making her proud."

His mouth had gone dry with how soft yet affectionately and quickly he spoke, and hearing absolutely no sound from Kyoya got Tamaki a little wary but relieved at the same time.

"...Kyoya?"

Two cold hands now wrapped around Tamaki's single hand, bringing it up to his slightly chapped lips and pressing a lazy kiss on the back of it. He brought it down a little bit, but kept it tight to his chest.

"Thank you, Tamaki."

A wide grin played across the young blonde's face. Now he knew it was time for bed.

Tamaki, pressed up against Kyoya's curved back, held the latter tight and gazed up at the open window in the room, watching the wind chime dangle there. Closing his eyes, he began to mumble softly:

_Dodo, l'enfant do,_

_L'enfant dormira bien vite_

_Dodo, l'enfant do_

_L'enfant dormira bientôt._

_Tout le monde est sage_

_Dans le voisinage_

_Il est l'heure d'aller dormir_

_Le sommeil va bientôt venir._

A heavy sigh escaped Kyoya's lips ,and he was fast asleep. Tamaki went after him, but not before saying a silent prayer to Mrs. Ootori, and listening to the wind chimes sing in response.


End file.
